Monday, November 24, 2008

Is there such a thing as too sensitive?

On Friday night Nick was reading Dumbo to the kids. It's one of their favorite movies and they love the book too. When Nick read the page where Dumbo's mommy gets locked up for going crazy, Alden got very very upset, and kept asking where she went, then he finally dissolved into tears. It was so sweet and sad at the same time. He was inconsolable until finally we read the page where Dumbo flies and then is reunited with his mom.

He has so much empathy in his little soul, I don't want that to change but if he's this emo as a toddler, what will I be dealing with when he is a teenager?

More funnies

Wearing only her baggy underpants, Ruthie walked into the kitchen. She had one of I'm Up To No Good smirks on her sweet face, and she said:

"I hide-a my bunty inna my panties, dat's how me rolls."

and turned and walked away.

As she was walking, I noticed a little tail in her undies, sure enough, she'd stuck her bunty (pacifier) in her panties to hide it from Alden.

Alden's favorite song is "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" but he puts his own special spin on it:

Head
Shoulders
TESSICLES AND PENIS
AND BUTT
AND FARTS
AND BAGINA
HAHAHAHAHA

OMG, I'm not sure I'll be able to take him to story time at the library next week, that dang song is a staple. I can just picture him busting out with his special lyrics and those stuck up bitches from last week running out of the room in horror.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Use your inside voice when talking smack

Our local library has a story hour every Friday, a few weeks ago I noticed two newcomers. I believe they are a grandmother/daughter/granddaughter, and the grandmother is babysitting another granddaughter too. Got that? Okay. Anyway, during story time the kids tend to get up and walk around a little, nothing too bad. The twins like to get up and sit with their friends or just stand up to get the wiggles out. No biggie, right? It's a room full of toddlers, not a mausoleum. Anyway, after the story time the granny and her daughter were complaining about the level of chaos and bitching about the moms who are "just letting their kids run wild, how will they ever learn". Dude. It's story time. For toddlers. If you are that uptight now, just wait till your little darling is two. Of course, they were only complaining to each other, loudly, in front of other moms. Passive aggressive much? Ugh.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Real life is scary

So, yesterday we had this fancy box installed. It gives us over 100 TV channels! For the last 2+ years we've had an antenna and only watched ABC, CBS, NBC and sometimes Fox. Ruthie started resenting the aluminum foil helmet we made her wear, and she got too big to perch on the windowsill, so our reception has been pretty fuzzy lately.

Anyway, a whole new world has opened for me. Did you know there is a show called My Big Fat Redneck Wedding? I am seriously frightened. The episode I'm watching features a hot dog eating contest during the reception, the grandma of the bride popped out her dentures in preparation. Holy crap. Damn those red states!

Election Night

Go Obama!!! I'm so excited for this new chapter in our lives, I think Obama will do great things for our country.

The California measures, I'm not too stoked about . Prop 8 seems to be passing, mega bummer dude. I think all people should be allowed to marry, but apparently others don't believe in equal rights. Merced County voted in favor of Prop 8 at 72%!!! No wonder I feel like such an outsider. Gee whiz.

These kids!

Most days end with my stomach hurts from laughing so hard, that's the only abdominal workout I've had in a long time.

Ruth: Alden jacked my peas!
Alden: I love poopoo, yummy!
Ruth: Only us ladies can go inna here, you boys go inna other one *points to the men's room door*.
Alden: I voting for John McCain! :headslap:
Ruth: Write my name mommy, R-U-T-H spells Ruth!
Alden: Turkey makes my tummy hurt, we have McDonalds?


After I got a speeding ticket:
Ruth: Why that man make us stop? Us going fast.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

The Mommy Blahs

I'm in the mood for some retail therapy courtesy of my Amazon.com giftcard.

First order of business, shoes:

Did you know that Chuck Taylor Low Top Converse are now almost 40 freaking dollars??

WTF!

I'm way too stinkin' cheap to spend that much money on a pair of shoes for myself. I do need something more sensible than my usual flip-flops, so I'm going to bite the bullet. The twins run super fast now and wet flipflops aren't so good for sprinting after them when they decide to dash for the road full of pedophiles and candy and razorblades and other unsavory things.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

An ethical dilemma

What would you have done?

I went to Target by myself (a rare treat). I picked up a few essentials and checked out. As I walked out I noticed that two of the items in my bag were not on the receipt. Score for me!

Okay, not really. I would have felt way guilty for keeping the items without paying, so I hustled over to the customer service desk to pay. The woman sort of acted like she thought I had stolen the items. WTF? I will always remember this Dateline or 20/20 type of show where people were on hidden camera in various scenarios. One scene involved a cashier "accidentally" giving people $20 too much in change, the people who realized it and still kept it seemed like such jerks. I wouldn't want to be that jerk on TV.

This is officially the most boring entry I've written. **Insert cute and folksy Sarah Palin eye-wink here.**