Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Please bring me a cake with a chisel

I had to go to traffic court today to clear a ticket I got for speeding.  I did traffic school online but I didn't realize the completion certificate had to be mailed to me, and I didn't receive it in time to turn in by the deadline (today).  I figured online school=print your certificate from home.  Oops.

Anyway, I packed the kids up with some snacks and told them they had to be on number one best behavior, and we set out for court.  Now, you'd think that since people are going there for being shitty drivers, they'd be more aware of their driving habits, right?  I saw two cars over the line and taking up two spots, two stop signs that were rolled through and quite a few seatbelt violations, all in the parking lot.  

Luckily the line was super short and the twins were happy to munch on their goldfish crackers while I took care of business.  The clerk wouldn't accept my completion acknowledgement I'd printed out, even though it had my name, completion date, my driver's license number AND the docket number.  After waiting in line #1 to get this info, I was told to go outside the building to the exterior walkup window (which is staffed by someone who sits three feet away from the woman who told me to go to the outside window).    We trundled outside and the kids sat on a handy little bench that had "puta" and "norte gangstas" scratched into it in a lovely old english font.  This woman kindly gave me an extension and warned me it was my last one, as if I'm a chronic traffic school shirker.  She didn't even look at my paper that said I'd indeed already done the damn course.  Oh well.

The process was entirely too easy, I was expecting more drama and kid chasing.  I got the bright idea to call Nick and tell him I was being arrested for not turning in my certificate and he needed to come get the kids ASAP.

Me:  I'm being booked for not meeting the terms by the deadline, you need to come get the kids.
Nick:  Um..oh god oh god!  Um hang on.  I'll be right there.  But it isn't even the end of the day!
Me:  *sniffling for effect* They said I can do it now during business hours or if we wait till 5 I have to be in jail overnight *sniff sniff* and be arraigned in the morning since there's no night court.
Nick:  Ungghshhhsdssshitshitshit.
Me:  Hahahahahahah just kidding!
Nick:  You &*#$%.

I'm expecting some kind of awful payback.


Amber said...

oooh! I hate practical jokes, but even I have to admit that was a good one.

On a totally unrelated note: I had a dream about Nick last night (not like that!), it was a weird high school thing, and Nick was very drunk. He kept throwing things. weird.

OneMadGiraffe said...

OMG! I'm totally waking my kids up laughing here! That is soo something that my husband and I would do to each other! Meg